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Monday 18 April 2011

Funniest Joke I have ever came across


Ms Nancy was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils.

"Jimmy, what's your problem?"

Jimmy answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Nancy had had enough, so she took Jimmy to the principal's office.

The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

He started by asking Jimmy some simple arithmetic.

"What is three times three?"

"Nine, Sir."

"How much is nine times six?"

"Fifty-four. "

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looked at Ms Nancy and said, "I think Jimmy can go to third grade! He seems smart enough."

Ms Nancy said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"

The principal and Jimmy both agreed.

Ms Nancy asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"


Jimmy, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"


"Pockets!"

"OK, what does a dog do that a man steps into?"


"Pants."


"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"

"Coconut. !"

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Jimmy was taking charge.

"Bubblegum!"

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does! sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"


"Shake hands, Ma'am."


"Now for some "Who am I" sort of questions, OK? First one. You stick your poles inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do."

Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first."

The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.


But Jimmy was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"


"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."


"Nose."


"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver."

"Arrow."


"Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?"


"Fire truck, Ma'am!"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university!! !!, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Interesting Quotes....


Help a man when he is in trouble and 
he will remember you 
when he is in trouble again !!!! 

Complex problems have simple, 
easy to understand wrong answer 

Behind every 'successful woman', 
is a man who is surprised !!!! 

Alcohol 'doesn't solve any problems', 
but then again, neither does milk. 

Most people are only 'alive' because 
it is illegal to shoot them. 

I'm not a complete idiot, 
there're still some parts missing !!!! 

Forgive your enemies but 
remember their names. 

The number of people watching you 
is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. 

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to 
my father .... 
- He said he wanted more proof. 

Some pain is physical and some is mental, 
but one that's both is dental !!!! 


Life is pleasant, death is peaceful. 
It's the transition that's troublesome.

Arguing with your Boss is like 
'wrestling with a pig in mud'. 
After a while, you realize that 
while you are getting dirty, 
the pig is actually 'enjoying it'
Quite agree with the one highlighted…